Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Confidence

Confidence. What a crazy, powerful word. In my own mind, this word was a joke for many years. Confidence- what's that?

I hid behind this thing called confidence because I listened to the enemy for far too long. Not only did I personally hear the enemy, but the enemy worked through the people that were closest to me- as he does in all of us. Words and actions that were just beating me down further and further into a never ending hole. I lived my life constantly not feeling "good enough" and always felt as if I wasn't capable of doing anything.

I now am very aware of the enemy and have slowly crawled out of that never ending hole- took me a long time and I still have trouble deciding if what I'm hearing, or feeling is the truth or if it is just him squeezing in his 2 cents.... he can be so sneaky. I still have trouble calming myself down in a sticky situation, but now I know the difference between someone really genuinely being mean, and the enemy working his magic- the difference is that there isn't really anyone that is genuinely mean.... it's him egging you on. We go through "option b-z" WAY before deciding to call upon "option A"...... God.

Lifeprint Church started a new series called, "God's A-Team" (and yes, we are in the process of having our own A-Team Van). At first it was just a cool idea (and pretty darn hilarious), but as Pastor John started digging into the Book of Hebrews, I found that we are all allowing the enemy to work through us....... we choose the easy way out- we're drifters. All of us. We choose the "cool factor" over listening to God. We all know what's right, we just choose to follow the rest of the drifters (that is, if we aren't already the one in the lead).

What really struck me in this last sermon is that evil is in our nature. Every last one of us. From day one we are taught how to do good things- no one is out there teaching us how to do bad things.... we already know how to do bad things- it's in our nature. I had never thought about it that way (at first my jaw dropped and thought, "who me?? No I'm not. I'm not evil- Rude." But as John talked about things as little as knowing a Twinkie is bad for you, but you eat it anyways......... shoot- oh man, SO guilty).

Why does that thing called confidence go along with this? Because I let the enemy get to me more than I should. For so many years I chose "option b-z" before even thinking about "option A". I had no confidence in myself and I had no confidence in my life. Putting God first has opened my eyes to a new confidence- in myself, AND in this crazy thing called life. Don't get me wrong, I definitely have a ways to go with completely ignoring the enemy, as well as the confidence I have in myself.... but I finally know who to call upon from now on. Option A.... God.

I put this verse to a photo I took last week because #1- we are doing the series in Hebrews at Lifeprint, but also #2- I went to the KTIS website and it was their "life verse" for today. Crazy, huh?

If we live our lives to be "good enough" in GOD'S eyes- we are already ahead of the game. And "good enough" is a TOTAL understatement when we are doing what's right in His eyes. Who are you trying to impress other than Him? He already knows who you are- and it shouldn't matter to anyone else. We are made in the Eyes of God- we could not be any more beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm looking forward to keep putting the confidence in God above all things in this life. I also have started to allow Him to put confidence in myself- what a crazy ride! I encourage you to take that first step with me in allowing God to work His miracles through each one of us. The coolest part of it all is that "when we have done the will of God, we will receive what He has promised"........ man, am I looking forward to that!

If you'd like to listen to some of John's sermons, please check THIS out. Or if you are in the area and want to experience a "one of a kind" church service (literally), please come check out Lifeprint Church in Prior Lake. It will change your life.

2 comments:

BAGVLI said...

I love how openly you express yourself on your blog, sweet niece. You have every reason to be confident - you are amazing! I love the verse you put with the picture. SO true indeed!

Love you!

Jen @ Paisley Print Boutique said...

Suzanne! I never realized how amazing you are! What an honest and open post...and what a great reminder to always follow Option A! Glad to see you are doing well. :)